Ump'n Around: Now THIS is an Official Gaffe

You owe me a cold one, Mr. Joyce.

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- In the two-man umpiring system...the one you see in most minor-league and high school games...it often feels like baseball is the fastest game on Earth. How could a game that looks so simple, that you've spent thousands of hours watching and a few hundred playing all of a sudden look so foreign; you're like a tourist trying to score breakfast with only"Kornokova" and "EZ Russian for Dummies" to guide you through a quick-talking and impatient shopkeep while two dozen glaring eyes burn you for holding up the line.

Why? Because in two-man, your positioning is the most important thing on your mind. Whatever happens, you have a responsibility for a part of the field and the added responsibility of getting your posterior to a certain piece of real estate. And everything changes depending on the hit, a guy on first, a guy on third, a guy on first and third...at times, you're so happy you hit your spot and claimed your field that you forget to even pay attention to the call you were supposed to be making (cough, cough).

Sure, after a while it becomes natural for the pros. And in the Majors, you even get two more dudes to help out. But positioning and responsibilities remain the first priority for umpires once a ball is in play.

Tonight's Angels-Tigers game provided an example of why this is so...an example of an extremely rare occurence that the MLB umps warned us campers about to no end...don't make a call that isn't yours. If you're at third, don't call a guy safe at first. If you're at second, don't call a play at the plate.

These are obvious, but on the lines, it can get tricky. Balls down the lines are the Home Plate umps call to the base, then they transfer to the baseline ump. Several times at camp we'd get caught excitedly calling a ball fair or foul down the line when the call belonged to our partner. No big deal...so I called it fair before he did. So what?

Quothe the Instructors:

"That's great...until you're at a ballpark full of fans and you've got your arms up because you saw it foul and about 10,000 people start screaming and you look over and see your partner calling it fair. That's not a situation you want to be in."

This grounder went beyond 3rd, and the call belonged to Ump Fav Tim Tschida (4). He called it fair and Detroit's 3B easily threw the runner out. But...uh oh.

"Looks like a dammed Village People concert out there!" -- Possible Clever Comment From Leyland

Home Plate Ump Jim Joyce (66) saw it differently, much to the upset of James Leyland. To his credit, Tschida took it like a pro and managed to exhibit only a mild look of annoyance having been shown up by his partner (see top photo...classic!). Fortunately for everyone, the batter was out two pitches later and all was peaceful in baseball land. But if he had hit a dinger and started a rally. Mama Mia! Like I said, THIS is a real error of officiating and because these guys are so gulldang good, it is extremely rare to see.


POSTSCRIPT: True to form, the announcers brought up instant replay on this play, though not terribly passionately as they were the Angels team. "These kind of plays might one day be up for review," one talker said.

No it wouldn't. Once a foul signal is given, the play is dead. There would be no fair way of overturning the call. And replay is stupid anyway.

Calls: Saturday Offers Dugout Rule Insights, Fox "Wired" Umps

Jim Joyce has a wonderful mustache. (Photo: Boston.com)

As the seaon progresses, I'd like 90 Percent to not only offer up some thoughts on players/teams, but also on the rules and the umpiring. Here's a couple-three (as we'd say in Greenville) items from Saturday.

1. Fox Listens In: I remember something about Umps starting to wear microphones, but I guess I forgot in all the excitement. Today, we listened in to Jim Joyce (66) explaining (to a fan, no less) the call discussed in item two. The cool thing with this is you got to hear the authority in the Umpire voice, they kind of remind you of cops the way they talk. It's startling to hear such a firm voice from these guys you've never heard speak, usually only see while a player is cursing at them and/or an announcer is assuring you they blew a call.

2. The Call that Torre Built: With the Dodgers @ Petco Park taking on the Padres, "parents" catcher Josh Bard -- chased a fly ball into foul territory toward his own dugout. Rafael Furcal was perched on 3rd base, with no outs, if I recall. Padres catcher dives/slides into the dugout and makes the catch as a few coaches give him a hand making sure he doesn't fall asunder on the steps. Furcal tags up, but the catcher is able to compose himself and hold the runner. The Umps called the batter out. Dodgers skip Joe Torre requested an explanation...after a quick consult that apparently included the rule book, the Home Plate Ump Joyce called the out and awarded the runner home plate. Normally, this is where the announcers and all your friends take turns butchering the rules of the game.

But thanks to the in-game talk with Torre and the wired conversation with the fan we heard later, this involved two rules, neither of which involving the helping hands of the coaches. On one hand, a catcher CAN make a legal catch in the dugout IF he maintains his footing. Otherwise, he is out-of-play. In this case he caught the ball legally IN play, but then slid OUT of play. As such, he was under normal rules with the catch and then subject to the special dugout footing rule after the catch. The ball is out-of-play (as if he had thrown it or dropped it in the stands) and the baserunner is awarded a base. Because the catcher was out-of-play and the ball was dead, the assistance of the coaches never affected the play.

Credit to Torre for knowing this rule about the catcher's footing from some corner of his mind. Not sure if the Umps were discussing giving the runner the plate or not before he brought it up.

3. Remember the Name of Timmons: Porsche aficiando and dude who was good enough to say I had an eye for calling the corners, Tim Timmons (95) is a professional official you should PAY to watch call a game, no matter who's playing. And despite this, they called him "Tim Thomas" on SportCenter when one of those crafty Indians tried to insinuate a problem with a particular call. It was like when Steven Cohen had to hear ABC/ESPN's Dave O'Brien announce "Michael Beckham" take the field during the World Cup. That was pretty funny, actually. We eventually just had to turn the volume off for the poor Brit to finish watching the England match in peace.