Already Looking Forward to the Offseason

Let me start this off by saying I love baseball, I have no children of my own (that I’m aware of) and I’m not a pedophile. With that out of the way, I watched a Little League game today to really get into the groove of Spring.
For me, the game’s highlight had to be the home plate Umpire yelling to both the Braves’ and A’s’ dugouts: “Does anybody on either team have any balls?”
My first instinct was to giggle, because in many ways, I’m still a Little Leaguer myself. Neither team had any balls – although this was no softball game. A number of fouls had depleted the Umpire’s stash.
After a delay, play was resumed, but not before the parents gave it to the Umpire.
“Stay on top of the game Blue!”
An agitated Umpire motioned to the Pitcher to play ball.
The Braves, sensing a rally, turned a boombox in their dugout on full blast belting out “We Will Rock you.” Their players, showing a bit more heart than Chipper Jones, began singing along. After hearing their cracking voices, I thought I might need to reconsider the Umpire’s initial balls question…
The A’s cocky pitcher was unaffected by the enthusiasm spewing from the opposing dugout. Armed with a full arsenal, including a fastball, curve, knuckball and even a submarine gyro pitch, this flamethrower had all the tools to dominate Little League (although he was also on the fast track to Tommy John surgery by the age of 11 – never a good sign). His team was up 3-0, runner on third.
The windup and the pitch – it gets behind the cather!
The player on third rushes in to score as the Catcher heaves the ball to the oncoming Pitcher. And wouldn’t you know it, after the fender-bender, the runner lay on the plate. Safe. Crying. Maybe that was Chipper Jones out there after all.
Again, the parents let the Umpire have it for the teary heap, although, as far as I could tell, he had absolutely nothing to do with the play.
“He didn’t do it on purpose,” the Umpire finally shouted to the parents while clearly imagining the tall jug of moonshine he would purchase following the game.
This whole inning got me thinking – while parents seem to let any rational thought leave their head when it comes to kids and tears, it was fun to watch a game where the fans lived and died with each pitch AND so did the players.
My beloved Dodgers have played .500 ball this Spring. The players seem to be going through the motions already. Hopefully, they’re dusting off the Winter cobwebs rather than planning their next fishing trip already. Gone are the days when Jose Lima skipped off the mound and Cezar Izturis and Alex Cora made defense their offense. Our lone playoff victory since 1988 is a long way away.
This year’s team gets to look forward to Mr. April-June, Brad Penny, Rafael Furcal’s insufferable slow starts and Jeff Kent’s mustache and its continuing effects on clubhouse chemistry.
I can’t quite put my finger on it – but they just don’t seem to have “it.” That Little League fire is gone. It’s just business out there. And that doesn’t bode well for 2008.